Koh Phi Phi – The First Day

We got into Koh Phi Phi at about 17.00, sun blazing. It was a battle royale to get your luggage. The boat was a complete piece of shit. At least the AC kicked on once they started up the engine.

Cody, Kim, and I got our luggage out of the melee. We walked down the somewhat long pier, and paid the required 20 baht to enter the paradise that is known Koh Phi Phi Don.

Right as you’re getting off the pier there’s a ton of guys holding signs offering accommodation. One guy wrote his advertisement on a stolen beach ball paddle with a sharpie. I chuckled to myself–what a boss.

Cody takes the lead. He’s marching confidently through the streets, you can tell he’s been here before. With his running total at 5 weeks in Phi Phi, he’s definitely put some time in. He loves this place. You don’t have to hear him say it–believe me he will–but just the energy and the movement of his body through the streets tells the story. He belongs.

I still haven’t seen “The Beach”, the movie that popularized Koh Phi Phi, or more specifically Maya bay. I’m thinking I’ll have to watch it. But it just feels like such a waste to watch movies while traveling.

We walk for about five minutes and then walk right into Alena Dorm Room. The manager–Nam–already knows Cody. It’s not even that small talk fake surprise of recognizing someone. It’s the oh what’s up shared between closer acquaintances, elevating your head up at each other as you make eye contact. It had been two years, but to me it looked like they saw each other last week. We walk right in the dorm room and get 3 bottom bunks. Pay later. You can’t help but feel a little special.

We drop our stuff off and lay down for a bit. We have been travelling since 06.00. It’s now 18.00 and I’m dead in bed. We’re going out hard tonight and I need to rest. I had to shit since 06.00 and now it was time. I was more constipated than a heroin addict. I was staying downstairs, but I slipped upstairs to use the less frequented bathroom. A safety move. You always need to find the safe havens.

Bathrooms don’t have AC in Thailand. I was doing some hard work in there. By the time I got out of there I was fucking drenched. I went downstairs and laid down to rest after that workout, and then found the energy to get food with Cody. Kimbo Slice was too KO’ed to even join us. That crazy animal pulled an all-nighter. Classic Kimbo.

Cody and I hit up this street food restaurant where everything is 60 baht. The business appears to be called “HELLO MY MOM”, evidenced by the name emblazoned on the middle of the huge laminated sign showing pictures of all the different dishes available. I got fried yellow noodles for the first time and probably last time. I prefer rice.

We came back and showered up. I grabbed 2 Changs from the market while Cody was lazing around in bed. I posted up on the porch and set off getting to know people. I met Paul, a British guy that now works at Alena. He’s got a few tattoos, and has no plans to leave Phi Phi. Seems like a good guy.

Shane–full body tattoos–has been living on Phi Phi for 1.5 years. He’s actually on the sidewalk, leaning over the railing into the porch area and chatting people up. I drank 2 or 3 big beers, and a shot of Hong Thong. My memory of what else I did on the porch is a little hazy. At some point the whole porch crew and I roll out to the beach bars, the first stop being Blanco’s.

The scene at the beach is a spectacle to behold. You walk through the tight streets of Ko Phi Phi for a couple minutes, and then boom! The beach! There is bar after bar on the beach, about 30 metres up from the water. Many of the bars have wood or metal dance floors set up on the beach. It’s more hopping from bar to bar on the beach instead of posting up at one place. Just consider the slice of beach infront of the bar as being apart of it.

As per usual, there is a lot of fire dancing, twirling, skipping, limbo, etc. All the bars have huge neon signage that you can see from far away, and terrible music. Way too much Justin Bieber. You can escape to another bar, but inevitably The Biebz will come back to haunt you. Fucker.

So we keep drinking our BYO beers at Blanco’s until we get word that Adam from the Full Moon Party is on the island! Cody, Kimbo, and I go down the beach to Slinky Bar to meet up with Adam. We find him by the mechanical bull. I jump on the bull and try to ride it, but they want 100 baht. Fuck that.

We spend some time at Slinky, and then Ibiza Bar. Cody says it’s pretty dead tonight. I’m sipping from multiple people’s buckets. We head back to Blanco’s, where the rest of the crew is pretty hammered.

I show everyone up in a handstand competition, and sustain a handstand while drinking upside down from a strawberry daiquiri bucket. Delicious. At some point I got in and jumped a flaming skipping rope. Every time you go in you get a free shot of alcohol that tastes like it could be what they use to set the rope on fire. That shit is fun. Our friend Charlie later broke his toe doing a backflip over this same rope.

We re-united with Kim and Cody, and then we hit the schitnizel place that Cody was raving about for the last week–the snack shack. 50 baht for two big pieces of chicken is a great deal. I paid another 50 baht for a huge helping of fries–shoestring and tasty. They also had malt vinegar–a rarity outside of the commonwealth.

I collapsed in bed around 02.30
‘Twas a good night.

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